


A Night for the Stars

by shazi_the_storyteller



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, One Shot, Recovery, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shazi_the_storyteller/pseuds/shazi_the_storyteller
Summary: “BoJack,” she admitted. “I don’t...like anything about me.” She pulled at her clothes with disgust, ignoring BoJack’s protestations. “None of this is me.” Her house, her clothes, hell even her boobs were fake, all part of Sarah Lynn, the Hollywoo celebrity.But where did that leave her?Or, that scene where Sarah Lynn finds out she won an Oscar.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	A Night for the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> hi friends!! i hope you enjoy, and let me know if i missed any content warnings <3 also, tell me what you think in the comments! constructive critiques are always welcome :)

“Oh, the Oscars are on!” Sarah Lynn stood, bouncing on the balls of her feet as BoJack said something she wasn't paying attention to. “I love the Oscars!” She grabbed the ugly green curtain from the motel window, heavy with dust, and wrapped it around her. “The red carpet, the fashion, all the magic of Hollywoo wrapped up in one exciting night.” 

Sarah Lynn really did love the Oscars. As she imagined the curtain as a designer gown or a feather boa draped in her arms, she could see her fans reaching out for her as she smiled at the photographers blinding her with their flashing cameras. The glitzy glamour of a Hollywoo night was addictive, and the Oscars were the epitome of it: a night for the stars, reminding its celebrities of why they joined the industry in the first place, of how they could all join the pantheon of the greats if they stayed.

Every time she wanted to leave the industry, Sarah Lynn’s team would remind her of all her adoring fans screaming her name and creating fan pages and wishing they could spend even a second in her shoes. They all loved her, and the feeling of being loved by so many people always managed to convince her to close her architecture textbooks again. 

“And the winner for Best Original Song is…‘The Silly Banana Song (Love Theme)’ from The Nazi Who Played Yahtzee by Sarah Lynn!”

Sarah Lynn squealed, jumping up and down. “I won! Oh my God, I forgot I was even nominated!” It was just like she had dreamed. She had joined the greats, finally won an Oscar and made something out of her time in the soul-sucking Hollywoo paradise. Here she was, listening to them announce her name, and—

Her stepfather. 

His gravelly voice accepting her award on her behalf. Begging her to come home. 

The high of winning vanished, replaced with a familiar heaviness settling near the base of her ribcage. She should’ve been there to accept her award. Anyone but him. An awful taste filled her mouth, and she could almost feel the bear fur between her clenched teeth. 

No. He wasn’t here. He couldn’t hurt her. And yet, as he gripped her award in his claws, gave a melancholy smile to the audience as the too-bright lights made him squint like they would make her squint when he took his pictures, she felt like a kid again. Small, afraid, and pathetic. Sarah Lynn wrapped her arms around herself and sank to her knees, grateful for a moment that he wasn’t here to force her open. 

Sarah Lynn exhaled sharply. “Oh, man, I should’ve been there.” BoJack shot her a concerned look, switching off the TV and turning towards her. She gave a rueful smile. “When I was a kid, if you’d told me I’d win an Oscar, I’d never have believed it.” She still couldn’t quite believe it. She thought she’d feel different if she won, that she’d become something special like the artists she admired as a kid. But here she was: a sad, scared kid, still the same as she always was. 

She was pathetic.

“BoJack,” she admitted. “I don’t...like anything about me.” She pulled at her clothes with disgust, ignoring BoJack’s protestations. “None of this is me.” Her house, her clothes, hell even her boobs were fake, all part of Sarah Lynn, the Hollywoo celebrity.

But where did that leave her? A stupid piece of shit so desperate to be loved that she’d wear $8000 shirts for the sake of feeling wanted by a cold, unfeeling corporation?

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, everything’s gonna be okay,” insisted BoJack, reaching out to calm her down. 

Sarah Lynn shied away from his touch and stared at her hands. Were they her hands? Who was she if all her life she’d been built up towards becoming a celebrity? Her heart raced. “What am I supposed to do? I don’t know what to do!” she cried, her breath hitching. Could she breathe? “Am I doomed? Are you doomed? Are we all doomed?” Who was she even talking about? She folded in on herself, rocking back and forth.

“No, no, calm down, nobody is doomed,” said BoJack, his voice edged with panic. “And I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go to the planetarium.”

The planetarium? Sarah Lynn relaxed a little, air filling her lungs in a rush of relief. She loved the planetarium, loved the gorgeous dome. She always wanted to design something as elegant as the gorgeous arc of that dome. She pored over architecture textbooks, imagined making calculations and marking blueprints and overseeing the construction of something so much bigger than herself. Something that made her feel like she had a purpose in life.

BoJack nodded, and Sarah Lynn smiled. She loved that planetarium. Maybe it wasn’t too late for her to do something with her life, to find herself outside of the Hollywoo tar pit. Maybe she had a chance. She always wanted to be an architect, after all.


End file.
